The Culinary Nightmare of Stock Image “Gumbo”
We have access to a pretty massive collection of stock photos to use in our posts, but that's not always a good thing. Most of the time, it's helpful to have a quick stock photo ready to slip into a post when we need a picture. But other times? Other times, you come across something weird and kind of horrifying. Like what stock image galleries think gumbo is.
First of all, no. Gumbo isn’t meant to be served in a butter dish, which is what this weird, rectangular bowl looks like, anyway. This hot mess of garbage is labeled “Seafood Gumbo” with the caption: Louisiana Seafood Gumbo served over a bed of rice.
No. No, it is not.
Sweet king cake baby, sha! This stock image nightmare is labeled “chicken and sausage gumbo” with the caption: fresh made chicken and sausage gumbo served over white rice with fresh vegetables in the background.
Okay, sure. Whatever. But they forgot to add the “topped off with pureed carrot baby food vomit” part of the description.
They say this one is “Delicious gumbo with prawns, baby okra, and sausage in a bowl on a black table with napkin and silver spoon” and about the only true part of that sentence is the bit about the napkin and spoon. The first tip that this might not be real gumbo is how it says prawns instead of shrimp. The second clue is EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT IT.
What in the sweet sassafras is this thing?! The stock image is labeled “New Orleans gambo with shrimps and sausage in a plate” and there’s so much wrong about that sentence, we don’t even know where to start. From calling gumbo “gambo” to dividing the rice like a half-and-half pizza before serving whatever this abomination is on a plate, nothing about any of this makes sense.
Then again, maybe it really is “gambo” because it sure as hell ain’t gumbo.
They call this one “Chicken and sausage gumbo soup” which apparently consists of a few tiny pieces of sausage with maybe some cubed chicken bits swimming in an anemic bath of what can only be described as liquid sadness. With crackers.
This “Pork and okra gumbo, cajun style stew” is neither gumbo, nor cajun style anything. Who invited carrots to the party? And is that cilantro on top? This weird bowl of...something comes with a handle attached to it, presumably for making it easier to throw it back at whoever had the nerve to serve it to you in the first place.
Oh. My. GAWD. If this glistening cup of gelatinous "gumbo" contains any actual gumbo, we’re leaving Louisiana. Last one out the door remember to out the lights, y’all. We’re done here.
We don’t even know what this one is supposed to be. It’s labeled “Homemade Okra Soup (Gumbo) with Bread” and there’s not even any bread in the picture. And no gumbo, either. There is a brownish/reddish bowl of grease and regret, though.
So there’s that.
This one might as well be labeled “New York Hipster Gumbo” because that’s exactly what it is. It’s someone’s idea of gumbo, like it's not actually anywhere close to being gumbo, but whoever made it probably watched a few episodes of True Detective one time and they’re pretty sure they have this whole Louisiana thing down. Of course, it’s served in a square bowl on a “weathered barn wood table” BECAUSE OF COURSE IT IS.
Probably comes with a slice of avocado toast, too…
Oh, come on. Someone at this stock image company is just messing with us now. The pureed carrot baby food vomit is back from one of the other nightmare “gumbos” but this time, it’s served in some kind of hollowed-out boomerang or something and there are unidentifiable yellow vegetables in it. Or maybe it's fruit. Probably pineapple because why the hell not?
Nothing makes sense anymore.
Supposedly, this is “gumbo with crawfish, chicken, and sausage” but we have our doubts. Why is there an ice cream scoop of rice plopped in the middle? Maybe it’s to be fancy or gourmet or something, but it really just looks like the rest of the “gumbo” has gathered around the Sacred Rice Ball to worship the Holy Green Twig of Destiny resting on top. It actually doesn’t look too awful though, which we guess gives it a certain distinguished status as the best worst NottaGumbo on this list.