10 Things That Will Make You Regret Moving To Louisiana
Louisiana might not be everyone's bowl of gumbo, because living here is very different from living anywhere else in the country. Everyone already knows about our skeeters and gators, but here a few things you might not have heard about that you should definitely consider before you move here. Or you'll regret it.
There's too much good food to choose from
From down home, Southern comfort food to Cajun cuisine, Creole dishes, and fusion cooking, you’ll never run out of options for good food here in Louisiana, which can make deciding what to eat for dinner pretty tricky. There are just too many options, and all of them are good choices, whether you go with a big bowl of gumbo or a plate of rice and gravy, we take arguing with your significant other about what’s for dinner to a whole other level around here. We're sorry.
You'll have to learn how to talk to strangers
No one is a stranger in Louisiana, even when they’re strangers. You’ll need to get used to talking in elevators, and striking up conversations over grapefruit in the produce section. Go out to eat, and chances are you’ll end up making a new, lifelong friend after your server takes your order and asks, “How’s ya mama and dem?” Next thing you know, they're showing up at your house over the weekend for a crawfish boil and inviting you to their wedding.
You'll be exhausted from partying
Louisiana pretty much has celebrations on every day ending in the letter Y, which should keep your calendar booked up with things like Mardi Gras and Boudin Festivals year-round. Of course, that doesn’t include all your new friends throwing parties every other day, because that’s just what we do here. Work, play, go to a festival, go back to work, go to a party, and try to sleep every now and then. Get used to being tired all the time.
Stop dreaming of a white Christmas
Since our winters are pretty mild, your dreams of ever having a snowball fight with the neighborhood kids are only slightly less likely to come true than walking outside and discovering a briefcase full of money sitting on your porch one morning, with a big red bow on it. On the plus side, you don’t really need to buy winter clothing, and you’ll never have to shovel your driveway - but you’ll also never get a snow day, either. So there's that.
You might as well ditch that Fitbit
Sure, that Fitbit looks cool on your arm and lets people know how seriously you take your health, but you won't need it here. While it seems like the rest of the nation is swept up in a fitness craze, it's never quite caught on here in Louisiana. And, while those health-tracking apps look like they make exercising fun, we’ll never know because all we need to do to burn calories is sit our lazy butts out in the summer sun for half an hour, and our bodies will have to start working so hard just to keep us from dying in the heat, that we’ll shed those extra pounds in no time.
Say goodbye to Netflix and chill
Good luck making excuses to stay in and watch Netflix if there’s nothing going on where you live one weekend - which seems doubtful, but whatever - because you’re never very far from someplace that is doing something. Take a weekend trip over to New Orleans or Lafayette if you’re bored, or drive north of I-10 and see how the Yankees live up near Shreveport. Check out the Creole Nature Trail, or the Boudin Trail, or, or, or… the list is basically endless. You're gonna get behind on a lot of your favorite shows. Sorry.
You’ll need to add hard liquor to your grocery list
Grocery shopping is one of those adulthood things everybody has to do, but nobody really enjoys. It’s basically an undocumented bill you end up having to pay every week, and good luck if you forget to shop on coupon day. To make things even worse, you can buy any kind of alcohol you want at the grocery store while you’re picking up the milk and bread, so get used to adding that expense to your shopping list if you’re a drinker. If you’re not, then you can go ahead and ignore this regret and feel good about your lifestyle choices.
You’ll have to come up with a really good excuse for that Vegas trip
Have you ever dreamed of taking a Vegas vacation? Well, you should’ve thought of that before you moved to Louisiana, because we have all the casinos anyone could ever need right here. “But I want to go for the shows!” - I hear ya, but our casinos aren’t just places to go gamble away what’s left of your paycheck after that trip to the grocery store. All sorts of big name acts come through local Louisiana casinos all the time, whether you’re into Country Music, Classic Rock, or that indie-pop folk band you used to listen to on your bedroom floor for hours during your teen angst years, chances are your favorite act will be coming to a casino near you any day now. Be prepared, and abandon your dreams of ever coming up with a good enough reason to visit fabulous Las Vegas.
Eating a quiet meal is impossible
Speaking of music, don’t expect to find many places to eat at night that don’t feature great performances from excellent local musicians that’ll probably distract you from having that important talk with your significant other over the étouffée. Any kind of music you’re into probably has a local band that’ll be performing it at a nearby restaurant that serves whatever kind of food you like, which makes deciding where to eat even more difficult than we’ve previously discussed. So good luck with that.
Every other state will be ruined
The biggest regret anyone has after moving to Louisiana is how it ruins everywhere else for life. After spending time in the Bayou State, you’ll never be happy living anywhere else. Sure, we have nine other regrets on this list that’ll haunt you for the rest of your days, but each one of them is kind of its own blessing, too. After all, there aren’t many places in the country where some of your biggest regrets involve there being too many food options, too many things to see and do, or too much great music, art, and culture. If you ever come to Louisiana thinking it’ll only be a temporary move, get used to disappointment when you try to leave. And good luck finding a decent bowl of gumbo (or anything, really) north of the Mason-Dixon Line. Louisiana has ruined you.