Do You Know About Cushioning? It’s Dating’s Latest Red Flag
Dating. It's not the easiest right of passage that we humans have to endure but at least with modern technology, it's gotten a lot simpler to do. Or has it? While it's easier to "shop online" for prospective social companions added availability means that people are keeping more of their options open and in some cases always having their eye out for something better.
Having a wandering eye has never been a good idea when it comes to relationships. While most people can tolerate playing the field during the early stages of a dating relationship, that tolerance wanes quickly once a couple has decided to become more exclusive with each other.
The Internet has helped and hindered our search for true love if you ask me. It's also given rise to some interesting new terms and behaviors too. I think we all know what "ghosting" is right? That's where a person just disappears from your timeline, your social media, and in real life too. We used to call that hiding back in my day.
And let's not forget "freckling" which is what a lot of you are doing right now.
What about "micro-cheating"? That's where your dearly beloved engages in flirtatious, although allegedly innocent, behavior with another love interest. It's not a great way to build trust in a relationship but social media and text messages sure do make it easy.
That leads us to "cushioning". I have to admit I am familiar with the phrase "cushion pushin" but I think you're supposed to be married before you do that. But cushioning is a great name for this kind of relationship behavior.
What is Cushioning?
Think of your love life as a buffet table and all of your prospective love interests are on display. As you are putting a slab of roast beef on your plate you're eyeing the fried chicken and the lasagna just in case the beef tastes dry. Cushioning is basically having a backup relationship in the works in case the current relationship fails.
Cushioning appears to be a direct result of micro-cheating. Because those who are often accused of cushioning are already in relationships. Quite often the "cushion" (is that what you'd call the other person?) Represents all that you're not getting in your current relationship.
For example, if you like a person who is a homebody and likes quiet evenings, your "cushion" might be an extroverted party person who never misses a night on the town. It all comes down to "we all want what we ain't got" and that will always be a downfall of human society.
The bottom line is this when hearts break they hurt. If you're not into a relationship for real, then be honest. Because a relationship without trust is like a cellphone without service. What do you do with a cellphone with no service? You play games. I love that quote thank you, Zendaya.
And let's leave the cushions on the couch where they belong. Otherwise, someone is going to have to get out a vacuum and clean up all the nasty bits and pieces of time gone by and like dust bunnies and Fritos in the Dyson, it's going to suck.
But if you are looking for love, I think you need to look for one of these.
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