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Forget Chuck Norris — Things You Didn’t Know About The Weather Channel’s Jim Cantore

Jonathan Saruk / Getty Images

Let’s face it, The Weather Channel’s Jim Cantore is the man. He fears no hurricane, no flood, no nor’easter, no tornado.  He is the freakishly muscled and cut weather man with a ball cap and head full of weather.  Women want him and men want to be him.  But how did Jim Cantore become Jim Cantore?  Well, there’s so much about him you never knew.

  • Jim Cantore’s perfectly toned muscles do not allow raindrops to touch his skin. With microscopic spasms, rain is repelled with extreme prejudice. The Weather Channel crew has to coat his exposed skin with glycerin so that he doesn’t look freakishly dry in hurricane weather.
  • Jim Cantore’s mind can force clouds into whatever shape he desires.
  • Jim Cantore farts strato-cumulus clouds.
  • Jim Cantore’s ball cap weighs 90 pounds — that’s why his neck is so thick.
  • Jim Cantore’s shirts aren’t fitted or too small. He isn’t even wearing a shirt — he can just make his skin do that.
  • Jim Cantore’s arms ARE Doppler radar.
  • That green color on the weather map that denotes rain? Jim Cantore created that color.
  • Jim Cantore’s not bald — it’s just easier to gauge barometric pressure without hair.
  • You know how after an injury heals, some people say they can ‘feel’ the weather changing? Jim Cantore once jumped off the Eiffel Tower and broke every bone in his body. He can ‘feel’ every snowflake in Siberia.
  • That wasn’t a hurricane, it was Jim Cantore’s morning swim.
  • When Jim Cantore isn’t on camera, he IS the New Orleans levee system.
  • Lightning bolts are just how Jim Cantore teleports.
  • Jim Cantore speaks fluent Sleet.
  • Jim Cantore uses the eye of the storm as reading glasses.
  • Contrary to what the movie  ‘Twister‘ would have you believe, tornadoes cannot pick up cows.  Jim Cantore was hired to throw the cow.  He used one arm.
  • Jim Cantore sneezes El Ninos.
  • The sun doesn’t set, Jim Cantore puts it to bed.

We’ll keep adding more as we think of them.  Got one to add?  Share below in the comments!

(Co-created in conjunction with WSRK Mix 103.9)

Check out Jim Cantore’s tribute to Tim Tebow from this morning:

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