Here is one for the people who think 911 was a government plot, Elvis is still alive and man never walked on the moon.This one may shock you!  Mardi Gras is all a big capitalist conspiracy.

Getty Images/ Chris Graythen

Far fetched? Well think about this. When else do you wear purple gold and green together? Don't you buy special Mardi Gras decorations and Mardi Gras clothes? How else would they sell that stuff if not for Mardi Gras? I bet you never use those color combinations at any other time. And I bet you own Mardi Gras beads (Oh lawd don't get him started on da beads.)

This is where the real conspiracy is. They have convinced us that we need as many of these beads as we can pack in recycled plastic grocery bags. I bet you have snatched beads out of mid air that were intended for someone else. It's not pretty and it's not your fault. I'm sure it could partly be blamed on alcohol consumption, but there is more to this.  They have turned you into this monster who's very existence is judged on how many of these somehow valuable beads you can amass at any given parade. Why have they done this to you?

Is it because micro chips have been planted in these beads and are being used to track your every movement during Mardi Gras and then to spy on you in your home? They know that you are on your fourth piece of King Cake. They know exactly how special your Valentines day was!

Well maybe that is true;(and the video may surface later) but the real reason is MONEY! It's because they are capitalist! They make tons of money on these beads (Our stations spend thousands of dollars a year on beads!) Then we take our beads (that we fought for) home and they end up in the attic or eventually thrown away. Every now and then some people recycle them on Bourbon Street (or so I've been told.) Then what do we do? We go to another parade to fight for the best spot, take our nets, umbrellas, boxes, targets and yes sometimes even use our bodies (or so I've been told) to get some more beads! No one can answer why we so crave these cheap pieces of plastic; yet our sickness continues. This is not a conspiracy? And you wonder what those vapor (or chemical) trails are!